These days, the past is starting to look pretty good to Anselm Kip. That's why, after more than a decade out west, he's flying back home to Old Dutch City to join the celebration of its 400th birthday. Sure, its heroes are all liars and sots, half its buildings are abandoned, and there isn't even a good place to get Zippies or Riggies anymore, but hey - everyone likes a parade, right? But while reliving old times might sound like fun, Kip never counted on finding himself in the middle of the age-old rivalry between King Tulip and King Saturn, let alone on the run for destroying a fake historic ship and a real historic church. Now, with a little help from a pasta-obsessed preacher, the spirit of a distilled-to-death Dutch settler, his cousin the cop, and a woman eager to teach him what L.O.V.E. really stands for, Kip is about to discover a side of his hometown he's never seen. As he journeys through Old Dutch City, where glorifying the past is everyone's favorite pastime, what Kip sees may yet convince him that even history isn't what it used to be.